Jonah Quotes

Episode 1
"There's a difference between bullying and joking around. He just doesn't get it, sir."

"I could tell him a knock knock joke and he'd start fucking crying 'cause he's a homo."

"It's not appropriate because he's homo."

"Ohhh miss, you farted! Miss just farted!"

"I don't want to go to time out. It's not my fault you farted."

"Teachers at this school are so racist. They always blame me for shit. If anything ever happens in school, teachers go "Jonah, he must have done it.""

"Sorry, miss. I'm just allergic to some shit up here. I must be allergic to your fart, miss."

"Why don't you smile for once miss. Have you got your period or what, miss?"

"We have a rule where we're not allowed to go within 10 meters of the fence, in case we beat the shit out of pedestrians and stuff and kids."

"This is my one - "dicktation". So it's a dick, and then you just write "tation.""

"Don't look at my dick, sir! Sir, you'll look like a poofter, don't look at me!"

"Sorry, ranga."

"Sorry, Ben - motherfucker!"

"Sir, what's the difference between a dick and a penis?"

"They don't understand that I'm just choosing to be dumb. I'm not dumb. I'm just choosing not to be smart at the moment, but if I put in effort, then I could be really smart, but I choose not to."

"I said I fucking love you."

Episode 2
"Can't you take a joke? Have you got your period or something miss?"

"If that's being disruptive, then... fuck you, that's not being disruptive that's entertainment."

ok "Why not? It's an English word and this is an English class."

"I said 'Puck you' with a 'P'."

"If you fuck up in school, you're going to fuck up in life. And that's fucked."

- Luke

"Man boobs. What are they? Where do they come from?"

- Doug

"If I could read, then I could read books all day. I could read, like, Harry Potter in a day."

Episode 3
"Piss off, year sevens!"

"It's not cum, it's just milk or some shit!"

"So what if I spoofed on my pants?"

"Your mom's dead! Fuck you!"

"Miss! This is homo music! Put some hip hop on."

Episode 4
"Sir, how do you spell "fuck him up"?"

Episode 5
"You got a fucking ranga and a fat one."

"Shut the fuck up! They're not my friends, motherfucker! I have to do it as a program. They're homos! [To year sevens] So, Pedophile Pete said that you've got social problems or some shit?"

"As a joke, idiot."

"You said a whale must have fucked a whale to get that much blubber."

- Leon

"He lifted my t-shirt and said I have manboobs."

- Lucas

"B4 I root you, are you over 16? Get it?"

- Leon

"Your boobs look fine. We're waiting for you."

"I want to draw my dick on you."

"How do you know what my ass looks like, sir? Have you been thinking about it?"

Episode 6
Polynesian, baby. Polynesian, baby. I'm a FOB, I'm a FOB.

All I learned in this big bad school, don't wanna fuck up, I know it's not cool.

Polynesian, baby. Polynesian, baby. I'm a FOB, I'm a FOB.

I come from the islands, and that's no excuse My culture is better than any of youse

Polynesian, baby. Polynesian, baby. I'm a FOB, I'm a FOB.

Being a Poly, oh my golly Just because I'm black, it's me you cannot hack Being a Poly, oh my golly

Polynesian, baby. Polynesian

"Why don't you go fuck your own ass?"

"I had to go see Miss Murray and she said that my dad had to pay for the lockers to be fixed and repainted and shit, and dad said fuck off to them."

"I don't even care if you send me back to Tonga. There's mad break-dancers in Tonga."

Episode 7
"Don't walk next to me, it looks gay."

"Aussies are shit break-dancers."

"The only rule is that you have to be Aussie to be in it. So no wogs or FOBs."

- Kieran

"We grew here, you flew here. Islander chicks have dicks."

- Graffiti

"What about "Gumnut Cottage Wicked Day"?"

Episode 8
"Being a FOB is mad because you are good at break-dancing. You are good at being tough. Teachers at this school are gay. All of them think they know shit, but they don't. Except Mrs. Palmer who is mad. And I am fully grateful for her wasting her time with me. Now I can read. And in Tonga I will books every day. The end."

"Fuck you, car! Come and get me, car! Take a look at that, driver. Get a sense of humor car! Don't you even know what fun is?"