Ja-mie King (10)
Ja-mie King (9)
Ja-mie King (8)
Ja-mie King (7)
Ja-mie King (6)
Ja-mie King (5)
Ja-mie King (4)
Ja-mie King (3)
Ja-mie King (2)
Ja-mie King (1)
Jamie (2)
Jamie (1)

Episode 1Edit

At Hillford, girls like me are offered a world of opportunity. Sport. Drama. Music. and more music. And of course, academia.

You'll fit in. There's so many Asians there.

Get back in the car, you're not coming with me.

It's so kind of, like not shady. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's not that many trees.

Like, I think when they were choosing people, they wanted someone who was good at pretty much everything, and, like, because it's gonna be on the news and on TV and stuff, like, I don't wanna brag, but I think they wanted someone decent looking.

It's way less povo than I thought it would be.

I love your bins. They're so random.

And teachers at my school are always going, "Ja'mie, Oh my God, you're the most likely to succeed" and stuff. 'Cause I'm, like, the smartest non-Asian in year 11. And I'm good at sport and everything that Asians can't do, so I'm such a good ambassador for the school.

They buildings are all sort of grey. Like, no offense.

Public schools are so random.

Thank you. And thank you to the traditional landowners of Summer Heights, the Wurundjeri people. My name is Ja'mie. J-A-apostrophe-M-I-E. Weird name, I know. But you'll get used to it. Yes, I come from one of the most expensive private girls schools in the state, but I'm actually really cool. Please don't be intimidated by me. People always go "Private schools create better citizens," but I would say they create better quality citizens. Studies have shown that students from private schools are more likely to get into Uni and end up making a lot more money; while wife-beaters and rapists are nearly all public-school educated. Sorry, no offense, but it's true.

Some of you come from povo families, but that's not your fault. Some of you, I know, don't even have Foxtel.

"Why would you go to Summer Heights High? It's like the boganest school in the world."

It's such a random thing for me to do, but I'm always doing things that push outside the boundaries. Do you know what I mean?

(giving slideshow) That's me being an idiot. My friends say that I look like Mischa Barton in that photo. I so don't. Oh my god. That's from my modeling portfolio. They should not be in there. That's really embarrassing. I'm up to a thousand friends on MySpace, and I could always do with more.

I usually try to avoid public school people. This one time I went to the year 10 formal with this guy from public school as a joke, like me and my friends thought it'd be so cool to just check out all the bogans and stuff.

I think a lot of public school people are dumb. I think that it's not really their fault. That's the thing. It comes from their parents.

The kids at this school have a lot to learn, and I feel as though I can teach them how to behave in the real world. Do you know what I mean?

Episode 2Edit

Last night I couldn't sleep and I woke up in a sweat and I forgot to feed my guinney pig.

And seriously, like, I don't want to be a bitch, but she's like the fugliest girl I have ever met in my life.

So, is there much theft around here cause it's a public school?

The guys are so hot. They're so multi-cultural.

Oh, you got wheelchair people! That's so cute.

Oh my god I love disabled people. They're so cool.

My breasts would have been bigger but I had an eating disorder in year eight so they didn't develop.

I don't want to be a bitch, but you guys are really boring.

So who are, like, the hot girls in year eleven. The really popular ones.
Well, there's Holly and her friends. But they're bitches.Ashley
Are they mean to you?
Can you introduce me to them?

I try and avoid other cultures at all costs, but
I'm Asian.Bec
Yeah, sorry. No offense to you because you're "hot Asian".

He gave her this really nice ring.Jess
[Ja'mie looks at the ring]
Oh, you got the little one...

Oh my god. We're friends.

That's Chinatown over there. Bec used to be over there, and we like totally adopted her.Jess

Just because I'm rich, doesn't mean I'm a bitch.

There's so many fat chicks at this school...

And I thought that all public school girls would be like skanky bogans and totally dumb and stuff.

You guys would fit in so well at a private school. Like if you got some new clothes and stuff, and like your hair was sort of different you would fit in so well.
Would we be friends with you?Jess
Probably not. If you were at our school, you would be halfway down.

I read an article, and like, there are more sluts in public schools.

I think what happens is, like, out in the outer suburbs ugly people breed with other ugly people, so you end up with really fugly kids. So that's why when you look around a public school, and on average, like, no offense, but people are more fugly. Whereas in a rich school area -- shut up and let me explain -- in a rich area, like, hotter people breed with other hot people and have hotter kids.

[choking back tears] I know I'm really going to miss my Hilford friends, and that's going to be really bad, and I don't want to be in classrooms where there's no air conditioning and asbestos in the roof and just crap desks and skanky bogans everywhere and sluts and I just wish I was with my friends and I wish I was going back to Hilford.

When I meet girls, they're usually really threatened straight away, right?. So then I meet and they're like "oh my god, she's so hot, I'm never going to be friends with her" and then I go up to them and I'm like "Hi! How you going?!" and they're really surprised that I'm giving them the time of day.

It's not cause she's Asian, it's cause she's annoying!

Episode 3Edit

What would you choose: giant tits, or fat with no tits?

Would you ever go out with a fat guy?Jess
No way! No offense, but I seriously hate all fat people.

The fact that they're hot kinda cancels out that they're public.

He's so hot! I'm in love with Sebastian.

Oh man, you must be exhausted! You guys do so much physical stuff.

So, what music are you into?
Hip hop and rock and stuff.Sebastian
Same! I'm so into hip hop. My god, we've got so much in common.

I loooove peace. Are you into peace?
I would never go out with a guy that wasn't into peace.

Ties are so random, don't you reckon? What are they - just pieces of fabric? They're so weird.

So, do you have any fat people in your family? 'cause you know how you get skinny kids but they end up being really fat when they're older?

I've had eleven actual boyfriends, and I've pashed like 135 guys.

I'd let you borrow my Blackberry but it's worth three grand and my dad would get pissed off.

Such a fucking 12-year old asshole.

The reason I stole your phone was to check -- before I made a massive commitment to you -- that you were not cheating on me. I open your sent box and what do I find? Four messages to Madeline. Who the fuck is she? Friends do not write two text messages in an hour saying "see you in English" "save me a seat." I don't know why I trusted a year seven! I don't know what you want from me. Seriously. Like, I'm committed to you, I'm obsessed with you, I've got a compilation CD in my bag that I was going to give you on the way home as a surprise. I've got you as my background on my MySpace site.

Why would you do this to me? Look at me - I'm fucking hot. You could've had everything. You could've had all of this.

Do you want your phone back? Because you're not going to get it. I'm going to keep it. I'm confiscating it. No, fuck off, you're not getting it back. Get on your stupid little fucking bike and get out of my life because I'm sick of you and take your fucking phone and go home. I fucking hate you forever, you're a fucking asshole and thanks for breaking my heart you fuckwit!

[crying] Am I hot?
Yes!Ja'mie's friends

Episode 4Edit

Guys, seriously build a bridge and get over it.

Don't be a bitch and not listen to my story, Holly.

Why would I want to be friends with you anyway, you lesbian curly-haired bitch?

I'm not sitting next to some random emo.

Why don't you go fuck yourself you public school bitch.
Chill out, Ja'mie. You're really embarrassing yourself.Holly
You know what would be embarrassing? Having your head.

[crying, on the phone] Mom it's me. I'm really upset. You've got to come and pick me up. 'Cause everyone's being a bitch to me. I should never have come here. They don't even have fucking grass on their oval. It's all just dirt. I am not going to see the school councilor you bitch! I hate this school. I do not want to be here. I want to fucking go back to Hillford. I'll trash my room and you will be fucking cleaning it up, okay? I will have no hesitation in smashing your doll's cupboard with a hammer, Mom. I'm serious. Or maybe I'll get pregnant. Maybe I'll just go and root some teacher or something and get pregnant and then you deal with that. You'll have to fucking raise the baby. Is that what you want? I am seriously gonna hyperventilate and die and it will be your fault. I am not fucking getting on the train home! The train stations out in the suburbs here are seriously fucked up. I'm gonna get raped or something and then I'll be in counseling for the rest of my life and it will be your fault! Why are you the biggest bitch in the world to me? I'm 16, mom. In a couples years time I'm going to be fucking out of your life. I'm not even going to fucking invite you to my wedding. Do you love me? If you fucking love me you will do as I fucking say. I just want to go back to Hillford. That is where I belong. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm a fucking private-school girl.

The reason I called this session is because yesterday everyone was being a total bitch to me. I'm a guest at this school and they should be really nice to me.

Bogan Alert! The Public School Skank Society.Ja'mie's photoshop's title of her SHH friends.

Ja'mie published this photo of us on the internet that said we were povo public-school skanks. She said that Kaitlyn was a housing-commission whore and that I needed a breast reduction.Holly
Oh, miss, tell them it's a joke. Tell them to get a sense of humor because that is a joke.

Why would you choose to live in a townhouse?
She didn't choose. We can't all be rich snobs.Holly

I'm not an Asian try-hard.Bec
Bec, you called me, you wanted some advice on how to get a boyfriend. I was giving you advice.
I have to change my race?Bec
You don't have to go on about being Asian. She walks around "Oh, I'm Asian. Oh I'm so cool. I've got a little cute Asian accent. Oh, look at my fringe. Ooh, Asian Asian."

The reason you're pissed off is because I'm more popular in the group than you.

Shut your face and go to the hairdresser and sort your roots out.

Why don't you go and get a skin graft or something? 'Cause your skin's shit.

Really nice, Holly, considering I had an eating disorder in year eight when I was developing and that's why I have no tits. I'm still developing, they're going to get bigger. When I'm 25 these are going to be fucking huge 'cause I'm gonna get implants.

You are so fat the fat doesn't know where to go and it pops out your chest.

Seriously, Bec. Quantas is doing some seriously good deals on tickets to China. Why don't you buy one?
I'm not even from China, I'm from Singapore, you idiot.Bec
Asia, China, same thing.

Build a fucking bridge. I'm not apologizing for trying to be funny. If you want to be my friend, you have to apologize to me!

I can't help that I'm Asian!Bec

I learned that if you look at people's perspective, you can really save a friendship.Jess
And I learned that you've got to be really careful when you want to bitch about your friends. Watch out for your MSN windows really carefully.

Episode 5Edit

Mobile phone allowed in class for texting purposes only.
It's a bit distracting.Ashley
Overruled. I'm president, Ashley.

I can't believe you guys have never had [a formal] before!
Oh no, we did, but they banned it 'cause they think it's a distraction.Jess
Is that why? Oh, I thought it was the povo factor.

Just 'cause you go to a public school doesn't mean you can't go off.

It's a formal! Just let us have it!

You told me you were anorexic. Obviously you were lying.

Deal with it, we're starving for a cause.

I'm going to go and see Mr. Cameron and tell him that I've started cutting my arms. That's why I'm wearing the jumper, so I'm just going to go in and go "Oh my God, what do you want me to do? like, I'm going to kill myself if you don't let us have it." Seriously. And if he doesn't let us have it then, then he's a bastard and it's like murder. He should go to jail or something, 'cause I could die from cutting myself.

A school that bans formals is a school that bans life. Summer Heights High, you should be ashamed of yourself. Firstly, formals can give hope. They give povo people something to live for. Lack of formals in a school can seriously affect the development of a girl. Without formals, you can seriously stunt girls socially and physically. No offense, but it's not exactly fun around here. A year-11 formal could do so much for this school. Let me explain. Formals bring people together. They bring groups together and remove the apartheid of the playground.
And hot girls all come together at the formal. It's a social and cultural melting pot that goes off.
Emos can dance with the jocks.
Christians sit with skanks.
Asians share limos with lesbians.
And my group talks to the fugly girls. That's right. Formals bring people together.

School without a formal: Action!
I hate school so much. School sucks. Stop pushing me, sluts! You're a fat bitch! You're the fat bitch and I hate you so much! You stupid Christian!
Freeze! See what I mean? It's really bad. School with a formal: Action!
Wow, I love school so much. Who's done the assignment. It's such a great place to be. It's such a happy environment.
Freeze. See what I mean? It's a much better place to be. So, Mr. Cameron, reconsider and let us have a year-11 formal. Before we go, I want to give you guys an example of what you will look like going off on the dance floor at the formal.

Episode 6Edit

So, the nightclub's called Blind and it's really cool. The DJ is so good. He's one of the most expensive DJs in the country.

Committee members do not have to buy tickets.

If you can guarantee me that it's a cool thing and it's going to make us look good, then I think we should [let lesbians come to our formal]."

Ashely, can you write that down? "All lesbians allowed at the formal."

Come along, get some tickets. They're $450 bucks and we'll see you on the night.

Who is Patrick?
He's kind of shy, and he's in a wheelchair.Jess
Oh, the wheelchair guy? He's hot, Jesus.

It's such a good look going with a disabled guy. You can get heaps of cred for being sympathetic.
And he's totally hot so you get the best of both worlds.Jess
Wheelchairs are such a good visual.

I went with a black guy to my year 10 formal for the same reason.

I've been really confused for awhile but now I'm sure -- I'm, I'm really into chicks.

I want us to look equally hot on the night, so if that's what you're worried about I can give you some tips.

Don't you get it? She's like the second hottest girl in year 11. The combination of her and I is going to blow everyone's mind.

I am totally faking being a lesbian. I am not a lesbian.

It's going to be so much bigger than you and the wheelchair guy.

We should do awards at the formal and have "hottest lesbian couple".

Episode 7Edit

Formal issues. Guys, formal issue!

When I said I was going to plan a formal I didn't realize you guys would be too povo to pay for it, no offense.

How about -- just an idea -- we could maybe buy our own tickets?Bec
No, we are not buying our own tickets. We are on the formal committee. We're doing so much work.

I can bring in my designer clothes and you guys can wear them!

I've done heaps of this stuff before. The key is to make people feel really guilty.

AIDS is a huge problem in Africa. People are dying of AIDS every second. It's really bad. So on Thursday we'll be having a dress-up day to raise important funds for AIDS in Africa.

Going with the AIDS thing means that people are more likely to give money because they're going to feel really bad. If I just said it was for the formal they wouldn't care. Do you know what I mean?

The dress up theme is AIDS. So come dressed as an AIDS-related thing, like a doctor, a nurse, a patient, or an African.

Well I don't really see it as lying. It's like just delaying telling them the truth about it.

Yeah, I'm like a naughty AIDS nurse.

I thought you said we all had to be African.Jess
Yeah, I didn't want anyone else to copy.

Oh, you came as a lesbian. That looks cool. Kinda related -- gay, AIDS.

Hi everyone. Welcome to "Fashion for AIDS".Bec

This is a Dolce & Gabbana dress that I wore to my year-nine formal. As you can see, it still fits me.

This is an outfit that I might wear on the weekends if I was just going down to the shops or something. It's very casual yet very now. And remember, guys, bigger donations will be accepted. Do it for the Africans.

Seriously, if I have to cancel the formal I am going to kill myself.

So, mom's offered to pay for the DJ and the venue and you can give all the AIDS money to a charity, and it's worked out really well. You don't have to tell the Department of Education.

Sir, mom and I want to know if you'll accept a check to keep quiet about this and not tell the Department of Education. We're really rich, so just name your price and we'll sort you out.

The theme of the formal is "Rich For a Day", it's not "Povo Public School Crap For a Day."

Episode 8Edit

I had my spray tan done. I went for the "Tahitian Princess" 'cause it's a little bit darker than the other girls, but I have the face to carry it off.

I don't want to look slut, but sort of semi-slut.

There's so many attention-diggers here, it's tragic.

The next award goes to the hottest exchange student, and the award goes to... Ja'mie King.Holly
Oh my god! That's so random. I didn't think I was going to win.

I hope tonight's formal has taught you guys that just because you go to a public school and you're povo, it doesn't mean that you can't have a good time. Do you know what I mean? Seriously, stop worrying about money, get over it, and have an amazing time!

He's got to text me four times a day. That's one of the rules. Even if it's just a "hi baby" or a smiley face or something.

I'd rather be a pedophile than a lesbian.

You have to text me everyday, ok? Swear on our relationship you will. And don't hang out with any year-seven girls. I'll hear about it if you do. There's your phone. I stole it out of your bag. Just wanted to check your messages. And put a photo of me on your screen, please. I've got you on my Blackberry.

You guys are going to be so lost without me.
Are we going to see you during the holidays though?Jess
Maybe. I'm pretty busy.
Oh my god, we should go out sometime.
Yeah, maybe. I go out in the city a lot, so it might be really weird.

Don't come out. Stay at the gate. It symbolizes public/private.

Public schools rock!